When Should You Start Counselling?
You might find yourself wondering whether you should start counselling now, or wait awhile. Maybe you’ve noticed a few moments recently, when your anxiety has been high. Or, where you’ve been reminded of something from your childhood that brought back difficult memories. Perhaps, through the holiday season you’ve noticed feeling more stressed or overwhelmed that ever.
But this week, maybe this week you’re good. You’ve been able to push some of that aside. You feel more yourself. It’s possible you’re working hard just to avoid that super uncomfortable feeling. But it’s not that bad, you tell yourself. You think you can navigate through it okay. It’s possible you just want to mechanically go through the motions of all things “holiday”, and hold out for January. You know that in January, you’ll have another eleven or so months, not having face those memories or the hard emotions.
Can I encourage you for a moment? You’re not alone in this experience. So many individuals struggle around the holidays. And, it’s a bit ironic isn’t it? On the outside everything glimmers, everyone seems happy, and you feel like you’re the only one desperately wanting this month to end. You aren’t the only one. I can tell you, I sit with many clients who are just like you in this. The reasons abound as to why. And the reasons are all, so, very, valid.
I am so sorry you’re in this experience. It’s unfair and it can feel a bit hopeless…in a season where you’re told you should be full of hope and joy. It might not feel like it, but it’s okay to feel the way you do. It can feel uncomfortable. Even more, it might feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable to do it alone. If this sounds like you, I invite you to reach out. I’d love to connect with you. Removing some of the aloneness you might feel can be healing in and of itself. Releasing some of the emotion you’re working so hard to contain…that’s important for you! It’s part of the healing process.
Alternatively, it’s possible for you that it’s not the actual holiday season that has you down, but the anticipation of what comes after (or maybe what doesn’t) the holiday season. You might reflect that family events leave you feeling less than amazing because of the dynamics. You might want to consider counselling, to explore some of those dynamics and resulting experiences.
After the holidays, you’re left with January. January can feel long and gray. This is another reason to reach out and connect. Being curious some of those emotions – sometimes even the anxiety you notice about feeling those feelings, or having those thoughts – is healing. It can feel therapeutic to share, out loud, what you’re noticing about yourself as you anticipate January.
When it comes to when you should start counselling, I don’t think there’s any “wrong” time. Just like going to school, going to the gym, or any other experience that will help you learn, grow and become stronger, starting now is the ideal time. Starting now might literally mean booking an appointment before Christmas to use up some of those extended health benefits, and then carry your journey into January. Starting now could also mean booking your appointment for the start of January. You can think of it as a gift to yourself. You’re going to start the new year being kind, compassionate and gracious to yourself.
Some clients have told me that they have booked their first appointment and before coming to see me, they’ve thought about cancelling a dozen times.
When they listened to their thoughts, they knew they had to keep it. When they listened to their emotions (sometimes unhelpful!) that’s the part that has tried to convince them to cancel. And at the end of each session, I will ask clients whether they regret coming in and connecting. Without fail, they can reflect that it was the best choice and then they book a follow-up.
If this sounds like you…you are unsure whether it’s the best time to start counselling…I invite you to reach out! Set up a consultation and we can chat for just a few minutes. Or, you might just want to jump right into booking your first session – that’s great, too! You can get to know me a little, and I can hear just a teeny bit of your story. I welcome clients from anywhere in BC to book virtually/online. And, if you’re local to the Fraser Valley or Tri-Cities, I’d love to connect virtually/online or in-person!
